I received an email today from a dear friend that I just had to share! You mommies or soon to be mommies out there will understand and have a good laugh, and those yet to become mothers, well here is what you can look forward to! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
You know you're pregnant when…
…something sounds really good but by the time it's prepared it doesn't sound that good at all or you can barely finish it without feeling sick
...you suddenly understand why you're mom always said "after all I've done for you..."
...you try to hide your gagging in public
...you excitedly tell everyone you just pooped cuz you’ve been constipated for days
...you become a cracker connoisseur, carrying them in every bag that goes anywhere with you ... along with the gallon Zip Lock freezer bag just in case you don't make it to the bathroom in time or you're stuck in traffic
...you are laughing so hard one second and could spit bullets the next!
...you start looking at minivans with the same loving look that you used to reserve only for a cute pair of shoes.
...you've eaten something every hour or two yet your stomach still feels like it's been empty for days, therefore you make sure you have food with you at ALL times
...you need a nap every 3 hours
...you finish going to the bathroom and you go to sit down only to realize you have to pee again.
...your wearing a maxi dress because the thought of those tight pants make you want to vomit
...your scared to eat for fear of vomiting.
...you can no longer watch TV or listen to music without shedding at least a few tears...whether its sad stuff or not
...your passing out on the couch at 7pm unless you've had a nap...then you can make it to 9!
...out to eat you have to be talked out of pushing the person in front of you out of the way because they're taking too long to order, and your so hungry you could eat a baby elephant....and once you get the food your only able to take 2 bites before feeling ill…
...you have the air conditioning as high as it can go and you still kick the covers off at night as your significant other is laying next to you with icicles growing out of his nose
...you wake up feeling great so you and your significant other plan a fun day out of the house, only to start feeling so sick half way there that he has to turn around and go back home
...you Google every little ache or pain you have
...3:30 just seems like a really good time to end the work day
...you eat Cheerios during presentations/meetings like normal people eat popcorn at the movies.
...you get stressed out trying to remember what kind of cheese is "soft" and therefore off limits
...you wish you could skip this awful in between "fat" period and go right to having a cute big belly and wearing maternity clothes
...even thinking about salad makes you gag a little
...you make a special trip to the grocery store for fixings to make a hot fudge sundae, get home and make it, take one bite and throw the rest out.
...brushing your teeth is a scary event (will it make me puke or not) and after brushing your teeth makes you puke you cry because you know you now have to brush them again
...you look at your significant other/boyfriend and want to castrate him right there for no reason, even though he just made a special run to get you ice cream...
...you wake up in the morning and lay in bed for fifteen minutes, wondering what will agree with your stomach that day
...the thought of going outside for a walk around the block makes you sick and tired
...all of your previous favorite foods like yogurt, chocolate, and pizza make you feel like vomiting
...you think about the amazing dinners you could eat all day and end up having 5 saltine crackers instead
...you hurt somewhere most of the time and you have digestive issues ALL the time
...you are positively overwhelmed with choices and their earth shattering ramifications such as Cloth vs. Disposable
...everything annoys you
...you know where every bathroom is in a 10 mile radius
...you realize that your house is REALLY dirty, but just thinking about cleaning it makes you so tired you have to take a nap.
I know you’ve spent most of the past few months “holed up in the bathroom battling morning sickness”, and you may have lost sight of all the perks that go along with being pregnant. After all, there's nothing like waves of nausea to dampen one's enthusiasm for this whole pregnancy thing! So just in case you're feeling more queasy than celebratory about your new-found maternal status, allow me to take you on a guided tour of the top 25 pregnancy perks! Hopefully this makes you smile after reading the first part! Oh yeah, and these aren’t in any particular order.
1. You're guaranteed to stop traffic whenever you cross the street.
2. People look at your stomach and can't help smiling, as if the mere thought of you being pregnant has actually made their day a little bit brighter.
3. You can eat a whole pint of chocolate-chunk ice cream and not feel guilty. Everynight.
4. You can -- no, you must! - - take naps. Lots of them.
5. Getting to name another human being.
6. Watching your husband turn into a father when he kisses your belly good night, reads to the baby in utero, or stays up until 3:00 a.m. putting the crib together -- just in case the baby decides to come eight weeks early.
7. You get to experience the most powerful love imaginable: the love between mother and child.
8. Buying a bathing suit. It's not about hiding your flaws; it's about flaunting your belly.
9. Those wild, intense, amazing pregnancy dreams in which every remote person from your past makes some sort of appearance. Don’t worry, none of these dreams can even begin to be analyzed or understood.
10. The amazing anticipation. It's like all your previous birthdays and holidays rolled into one.
11. Imagining the possibilities.
12. More personal space! And you have no qualms about claiming it.
13. You eat healthier, drink more water, and carefully read ingredient labels. Suddenly, it matters more to you what you put in your body.
14. In the middle of a boring meeting at work or a meaningless argument, you feel your baby squirming inside you and the sensation takes you away. It's your own secret communication.
15. Getting to hear the swish swish swish of your baby's heartbeat on the Doppler.
16. Playing "Guess the part sticking out," usually at bedtime, when your baby starts moving furniture around or whatever it is he/she does in there.
17. The extra attention you get from everyone -- your husband gives you more foot rubs, and your friends call to check in more often. Neighbors offer to help; coworkers volunteer to get lunch for you; little presents (a bottle of water, an afternoon snack) mysteriously show up on your desk.
18. The pregnancy beauty package: thick, silky hair; long, strong nails; beautiful skin; big boobs.
19. Getting to skip to the front of the line in public rest rooms.
20. Shopping for a person you haven't met yet: tiny clothes, all-new furniture, and adorable room decorations.
21. Dreaming about the first time someone calls you "Mommy" and the first time you hear someone call your husband "Daddy."
22. Baby showers! They remind you how special your friends and family think you are.
23. A continuous sense of accomplishment. You can answer "What did you do today?" with cool things like "I made ears" or simply "I'm making a person. What did you do?"
24. Spending immeasurable amounts of time trying to remember all those nursery rhymes, children's songs, and lullabies.
25. Knowing that all the bad stuff -- the heartburn, morning sickness, swollen ankles, backaches, and the rest -- doesn't last forever. And that in the end, it's all worth it.
